Book Review: Bad Unicorn

Bad Unicorn by Platte F. Clark might have replaced The Snow Child as my favorite read of 2013. Not that it's really fair to compare the two, as they have nothing in common, but Bad Unicorn is the new book that I will not shut up about. When I say "won't shut up" I really mean that when ever I see someone even glance at its cover a maniacal gleam enters my eye and I babble on about it's wondrousness until they purchase it. 

I'll be honest, it's really not all that easy to describe this book and Mr. Clark has been not-so-helpful in this area either. But I'm a brave girl and I'm going to try. I think gifs will help, too. So here we go:

First off, imagine a mashup of all your favorite fantasy fandoms:

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Max Spencer is your average, geeky, tabletop game loving, outcast Middle Schooler. He and his best friend get involved in an altercation between the school bully and the resident, brainy smart girl (who just happens to be a martial arts expert) that results in them all being sent home for the afternoon. Max, his buddy, and their new brainy gal-pal decide to head to the boys' favorite place: the local game store. An ensuing interaction with the curmudgeonly shop owner reveals that Max's prized book is the most powerful object in the all the worlds: The Codex of Infinite Knowability. The fact that only Max can read it is a pretty big deal since that is a sure sign that he is a direct descendant of the World Sunderer himself, the greatest wizard that ever lived. As the information comes to light, Max panics, the magic unconsciously travels through him and he, his friends, and the shop owner (who, fyi, is actually a dwarf from the middle realm) are transported to the distant future where the machines have taken over and the only remaining living creatures are a band of spineless frobbits.

By the way, this is how I imagine frobbits to be:

Now, you're probably wondering why the title speaks of a unicorn when I have clearly not. Well let me tell you about Princess. This is what you are imagining Princess to be like:

You should really wipe that image from your head. This is Princess the Destroyer we're talking about here. She's powerful. She's spoiled. She's bored. She's mean and rather nasty. And did I mention she's developed a craving for human flesh? Yeah, "bad" might be a bit of an understatement. She's also been recruited by a powerful wizard in the middle realm to travel to our human realm to track down the last remaining descendant of the World Sunderer and the Codex. And she doesn't let a little thing like a few millennia of waiting distract her from that task either.

So yeah, really hard book to describe. Really easy book to love. If you have any affection for fantasy whatsoever you absolutely must read this book. And Platte, if you're reading this, I cannot wait for the followup.

Cocktail Party

Manhattan Cocktail // I can't wait to find the perfect bar cart for our apartment // The PDT Cocktail Book 

Keep Calm + Pour Drinks // The Volstead is as delicious as it is pretty + witty // Punch

I love this Demeter fragrance // Pink Lady makes for a pretty glass // The Great Gatsby

I've been on a cocktail kick recently. It started with the acquisition of two gorgeous new books: Punch: The Delights (and Dangers) of the Flowing Bowl & The PDT Cocktail Book: The Complete Bartender's Guide from the Celebrated Speakeasy. Actually, I may have been subconsciously absorbing all of the Luhrmann-infused Jazz Age-y goodness of The Great Gatsby for a while now, too. Nothing will make you crave some cocktails and glamorous parties like the birthplace of it all; long live the Roaring '20s!

The truth is, I'm a booze girl. Some people like wine or beer. I like booze. I can handle beer if the setting is right and I do appreciate some good wine. But I really prefer a nice, crisp, not-too-saccharine cocktail. Vodka and tonics are my standby, but I'm always game for something new. I really, really wish I could afford to drink my way through the PDT book week by week and make a new series just for that. (The Mister informs me that this cannot happen on our current budget, however. Sad face.)

I think cocktails also hold a special place in my heart because of the way they make me feel. A little gritty, a little glamorous, and very adult. I get to be a Bond girl with my tumbler in hand, listening to the fizz of tonic water and the clinking of ice. Given, I do prefer to drink my martinis in jeans instead of a little black dress and I may sport tattoos instead of diamonds or pearls... but there is a glamour to kicking back in the evening with drink in hand as I snuggle down next to husband on the sofa. And it doesn't take top-shelf brands and oodles of cash to achieve this feeling; I'm a pro at sourcing great tasting, bottom-shelf liquor to achieve my needs.

What about you? What's your cocktail of choice? Do you have a go to recipe book for your gatherings? Has Gatsby inspired any of these same feelings in you?

The Best Moments In Reading

[image via Pinterest]

Link Love: 05.03.13

[image via imgfave]

• Shockingly, I don't think I've ever raved about my favorite design blog on here. So this is me raving about all the glorious design porn Blood & Champagne offers up. (Plus, how rad is that blog name?) If you ever wanted to get a good feel for my design style, this would be a pretty good way to achieve that dream.
• Hanna's recent post about letting go and fully expressing herself and her love for life and others really moved me. It's short and sweet and take your breath away lovely.
• Not really anything groundbreaking, but this list of 9 essential Spring cleaning tips will help motivate you to really declutter your life. (The great purge is still ongoing at casa Bailey, by the way).
• See this: 
  
   How cute is she?
• John Cleese is one of my idols. I may also have a very inappropriate and odd crush on him...but we'll ignore that for now. His advice on creativity is amazing, and I would expect nothing less from a Python alum.
• I want to do this at work so badly. Or maybe for a Christmas exchange one year! 
• This woman left her own wedding to cover a breaking news story. I'm not sure if I admire her dedication to her work or her husband's complete respect and understanding for her dedication to her work more. 
• Gala put together an interesting bit on body language. Something I'm always struggling to work on; I'm such a fidgeter!
• Lava fascinates me. 
• When The Guardian, which is in the business of news, backs me up on my whole premise of how watching and reading the news is harmful, I think I may have won my argument.
• Vintage tattoos photos always make me smile. 
• This Paris apartment was abandoned just prior to the Nazi invasion and not reopened for another 70 years. Check out some of the priceless finds that were discovered inside.
• I thought there were some truly excellent quotes and takeaways in this piece on finding fulfillment at through work.
• Oh, don't mind me, just pimping out the Mister's new blog. He's really quite witty. You may meet a whole new side of me through his eyes.
• Black Girl Nerds latest podcast on interracial dating was a nice listen. I highly recommend it for anyone who may be in shoes similar to mine or anyone who wants to hear some more discussion on the topic.
• Still can't get over the magic that seems to happen in this video... I mean how does this man make such great art with what seems like so little effort and some spray paint????
• One of the saddest things about living in Richmond is the complete lack of access to an Orange Julius. I do believe I need to try out this recipe so I can quench my Julius-hankering thirst.
• I want a Spineless Classics print so badly. (Anyone who wants to take that hint, I won't stop you.)